249 – “crazy, but totally sane” How Postpartum Anxiety Feels

Yesterday, we talked a little bit about the difference between mom worry and anxiety and how it is such a blurred line. And when I had postpartum anxiety, the one thing that I always said was, “I felt crazy, but totally sane” and Mama’s Daily Dose is… “I felt crazy, but totally sane.” Let’s get moving, before we get interrupted.


There’s one side of the street that is careful, attentive, loving parenting, and then you can crossover just a little bit and on the other side is anxiety and obsessiveness. And it can be easy to get over to that anxiety, obsessive side without even realizing it. But then once you get on the other side of the street, it’s like this mad traffic rush and everything’s going on. And it is so difficult to make your way back over to that loving side, because you are just stuck on the anxiety and obsessive side, because there’s too many trucks going by, nobody is stopping for you you’re trying to run across. But you’re just not able to. 

 
And that’s a lot how I felt with anxiety, I was not able to cross back over that street, even though I was aware of my thoughts, and that I was going down this rabbit hole again. And I felt totally crazy for going further and further and further down. But at the same time, it’s like I felt so sane, because it all made sense. All of these steps made sense. And that’s what can be extremely difficult about anxiety. Because there is a positive side to anxiety, it comforts you and being able to think that you have that control over it and map all of these things out. But once you’re on that side of the street, and all these cars are whizzing by, it is so difficult to just cross that street again, out of the anxiety, no matter how crazy I felt in the moment. Even in my consciousness, like unconsciously I was going down this hole and all of a sudden, I’m like, Meghan, what are you doing? This is crazy. But you know what it actually does make sense too. The positive side of anxiety is that comforting feature because it does help you in the moment, even if for just a small period of time, it is helpful for you, your brain is trying to protect you once again, your brain loves you. Anxiety is a way for your brain to protect you a bit. And no matter how crazy I felt, I still felt like it was helping me a bit. And that’s what made it very difficult to get out of the anxiety, to get back on the other side of the street, with all of that traffic whizzing by

 
Mama, your action today is to bring some of the unconscious thoughts to your consciousness. For me to really work on my anxiety, the first thing I had to do was just become aware of it and bring it into my consciousness that when I started going down that rabbit hole, I’m like, “oh, there’s my anxiety again.” And bringing it to my consciousness. Because if I just kept going down that rabbit hole and letting my unconscious basically take over there, I’m not able to make a change. I had to bring awareness, bring it to my consciousness in order to change it. So your action today is to bring that unconscious to the conscious. If you start going down that rabbit hole if you start worrying about something that you can’t control, anxiety starts to set in – say, “Hey, there’s my anxiety.” Just being able to name it and be aware and conscious of when it occurs helps the healing process. And have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

Rather listen than read? Listen to the podcast here:

Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett is Mom Success Coach and Connector who helps mamas create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt. She connects mamas from all around the world so you can share your stories in a safe, supportive space.

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