133 – Postpartum Anxiety (PPA)

Hey Mama. This is Mama’s Daily Dose. I’m Meghan Q Barrett of allyoumama.com. Today’s episode is a very special one for me, because it was about a year ago that I came out publicly with my postpartum anxiety. And while it looks very different in everyone, I want to share what my experience was, so that it can help other moms either recognize what they’re going through, but also feel like they’re not alone, that they know that other moms are going through this. And it’s a lot more common than you think. And just know that you are not alone in your experience. And Mama’s Daily dose is… Postpartum anxiety, let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

I am no medical professional. So if you have some feelings of anxiety, or depression, or just some feelings that you don’t know what they are, I highly suggest that you talk to a medical professional. But I do like to share my story because I did this about a year ago, as I said in the introduction, and it took me 9-10 months to really publicly come out and say that I was suffering with postpartum anxiety. And if it weren’t for a friend of mine, doing the same thing coming out and saying she had postpartum anxiety and what it was like for her, I would have had no idea what I was going through, I would have just thought that, you know, it’s normal mom anxiety. I had never even heard of postpartum anxiety before that, and I had messaged her was like, Hey, this is what I’m feeling. And she’s like, Yeah, I mean, it kind of sounds like what I went through, I suggest you talk to a medical professional. 

But what I was feeling was, I was just anxious all the time. And I would just go down these long rabbit holes that seemed like it made sense at the time. But I also felt crazy at the same time, like if my husband was late coming home from work, I would just automatically think that he got in a car accident. And then I would start thinking like, what would I have to do? Okay, like, I could drop my older son off at the neighbor’s. But my younger son, he’s still breastfeeding, and I don’t have any bottles. He doesn’t take a bottle. But it’s COVID. So I don’t want to bring him to the hospital. And I would just so it kind of like made sense, the sequence of thoughts. But at the same time, I’m like, This is crazy. I don’t even know if my husband’s even in a car accident, the chances of that are pretty slim. And I would stay awake at night, honestly, trying to figure out how I would get everyone out of the house. If there was a fire, like, which child would I get first? Or like, Would my husband go get my older son and I go get the baby, vice versa? What happens? Like what if the fires in one of their rooms? What do we do? And I would just go through all of these details. And as I said at the time, I felt kind of crazy. But at the same time, it just made sense to go through all of these actions and everything. And after talking with my midwife, I was then diagnosed with postpartum anxiety, and OCD. And as I said, this could look totally different in you. But just know that you’re not alone in your anxiety or angst or whatever you want to call it. But if you are feeling really down and it is really impeding your life, like the postpartum anxiety was pretty much taking over my life. I just constantly had these thoughts and running through them. I highly suggest you talk to a medical professional. There are lots of ways out there to help you and lots of people out there too. If you just need someone to talk to someone to connect with. I’m here as well. Feel free to reach out at any time.

Mama if you need some help. There’s no shame in asking for help. It’s only going to help you. Really the longer you keep it in the darkness, the more it feels like a secret and shame. The moment I came out and really started talking about my postpartum anxiety. That’s when my healing really started. So if you need help, go ask for help people out there really do want to help you and we all want to see you be the best person and best mama that you can be. And have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

Rather listen than read? Listen to the podcast here:

Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett helps mamas figure their sh*t out so they can create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt.

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