88 – What you say to your kids matter

Hey, Mama, this is Mama’s Daily Dose. I’m Meghan Q Barrett of allyoumama.com. Happy Hump Day. And this is the third and final day of our theme of what you say matters. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… what you say to your kids matters. Let’s get moving, before we get interrupted.

Alright, so to tie all these three days together on what you say matters, we talked yesterday about that critic in you, that is trying to bring you down with those self limiting beliefs that were instilled in you by role models, people you looked up to, your parents at a very young age. So, the things that they said to you and repeatedly said to you, as well have an impact on you now in your adult life.

So what we say to our children, not only matters to them right now, but really matters to them for a lifetime. And that’s like, that’s like big stuff right there. And as always, we’re not going to be perfect all the time. I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect. What I say is not perfect. But being intentional with what you say, and being aware of the things that you say, is going to make a huge difference in the long run in your kids’ lives. 

One word that always gets me, and you know, we talked about how there’s different trigger words for people on Monday’s episode is… “obey.” When kids hear, “you need to obey.” Or parents say, “obey me.” That just WHOO, that gets me, because when I think about obey, that’s like, really bowing down to somebody, like you don’t have any agency, you don’t have any control over your life, because you have to obey this person. So when that kid grows up, they’re not going to know what to do, they’re not going to know how to make decisions for themselves, to go out there and take care of themselves and make those life decisions because their whole lives they’ve been been told they need to obey. So now who are they supposed to obey, when they’re the ones that are responsible. And on top of that, it just undermines the creativity and the thought processes that kids need.They need to make decisions, they need to make mistakes. Yes, our children do need to listen, and we need to look out for their safety. But there’s just a big difference between listening and obeying. 

So there was my tangent on the word “obey.” But there are different words, as we said, that trigger different people. You can choose how you want to parent your children. But in your choice, just know that what you say, and the delivery to your children matters for a lifetime. And maybe there were words that were used with you, or a tone of voice or just yelling in general, that you don’t want to use with your kids. And that’s a great thing about being a parent, is you can change the way that you were raised. You can reparent yourself, while parenting your children too. 

That was big, y’all. That’s just that was like being a mom is this big, huge responsibility. And it is. We’re not only responsible for their safety, but you know, bringing them out into the world and being the most confident people that they can be. And the way that you do that is being aware of yourself. So take a look today at some of the things that you say to your kids. What are some of the things that you repeatedly say that you like that you want to continue to do? And what are some things that you repeatedly say that you don’t like that you want to get rid of? And have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett helps mamas figure their sh*t out so they can create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt.

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