78 – Who do you dislike?

Hey, Mama, this is Mama’s Daily Dose. I’m Meghan Q Barrett of allyoumama.com. Part three today on everything is a mirror or a reflection of what is inside of you. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… Who do you dislike? Let’s get moving, before we get interrupted.

Yesterday, we talked about who do you admire, and that all those qualities that you admire in another person or the future you; are actually already inside of you. You just need to cultivate them and bring them out. And the same is for the people that you dislike, or the qualities that you dislike. And I talked about the book before – The Dark Dide of the Light Chasers. And this was like a big punch in the gut to me, especially when it came to judgments or judging people and situations. And I was sitting there with a friend, and they were just totally judging a person and their situation. And I just started thinking, like, “Oh, my gosh, this person is like, so judgmental. And I’m like, crap, I’m judgmental. I’m super judgmental.” 

Everything that we see in another person, any quality we see in another person that we don’t like, it’s because we have done it, or we are doing it or we are certainly capable of doing it. Usually, it’s one of the first two- that you have done it in the past, or you are currently doing it. And it made me take a step back and realize that I judge people, I am a very judgmental person. And that is something that I want to work on. I want to work on having empathy for others instead of judging their situations. 

And I think one of the best ways I’d heard this is from Ben Bergeron’s podcast, Chasing Excellence. He talked about how his wife is like, really good at this, that she is not judging people. And she is giving everyone the benefit of the doubt that she doesn’t, we don’t know the full story, we don’t know that person’s situation. And she is just giving them the benefit of the doubt. And he used the example, there could be a woman in the parking lot driving around with a car seat on top of her car. And all these people would be judging her saying she’s a horrible Mom, why would she do that? How could you do that? And his wife would be like, “you don’t know her story. You don’t know what happened.” And although that is a very extreme example…really, we don’t. We’ve all made mistakes, but we have made the best decision at that time, with the information we had and the experiences that we’ve had. And no one else knows the full story. Like we talked about on Monday, nobody knows that TV screen that’s going on in your mind, and you don’t know, the TV screen that’s going on and someone else’s mind, either. So we can’t fully judge that person or their situation, or their reasoning. Basically, what this comes down to is any quality that you dislike in other people is because that quality is in you.

Alright, so we got homework again, today, Mama. Just like how we made the list of the qualities that we admire in others, I want you to make a list of the qualities that you dislike. So think of somebody that you really don’t like, and write down the qualities and the things that they do that you do not like about them. And then think about how those qualities show up in your life. Once you realize this, and you see this, it is like a punch in the gut every time because you’re like, “I really don’t like what that person did.” And then you’re like, “Well, hey, I do that too.” Everything’s a mirror out there Mama. Have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

Rather listen than read? Listen to the podcast here:

Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett helps mamas figure their sh*t out so they can create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt.

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