47 – Taking back the word “selfish”

Hey Mama, this is Mama’s Daily Dose. I’m Meghan Q Barrett of allyoumama.com. Mama’s Daily Dose is… taking back the word selfish. Let’s get moving, before we get interrupted.

On yesterday’s podcast, I shared the story about my grandma calling me selfish, as well as mentioning that I was called selfish, quite a bit growing up. And that was really built into my subconscious that I just believed that I was a really selfish person. And I felt like I really had to make up for that by giving of myself and things to other people. But in the past few years, I’ve really kind of taken that word back. It was such a word that would trigger all of these emotions in me that I had to do something about it, I had to take control of that word and give it a meaning that was really true to me.

If you look up the dictionary meaning of the word selfish, it says, “lacking consideration for others, concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit, or pleasure” I don’t really see a whole lot wrong with that meaning, it does start off with lacking the consideration for others. And for me, being selfish doesn’t mean lacking the consideration for others, you may have to lack the consideration for others in order to reach something temporarily. But that doesn’t mean that in general, you lack consideration for others, right? So if I have a specific project that I need to get done, then maybe I’m focusing on that, and I do have to miss dinner with my children with my family. And so I’m lacking consideration for them for a short period of time. And then it says, concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. I feel like that is people in general, that’s who we are. That’s what we are. As an adult. You have to be concerned chiefly with your personal profit or pleasure. That’s how you live life. If you are not, how are you going to live? How are you going to buy food? How are you going to have shelter if you aren’t concerned with your own profit or pleasure. So I find it a little bit crazy that people think that this is a horrible word based on this definition in and of itself. Now, if you are totally lacking consideration for others in all areas of your life, and it isn’t temporary, then that may be a slight problem there. But for me, selfish, just means taking care of myself. I have to take care of myself, in order to take care of everyone and everything else in my life. Selfless and selfish are not mutually exclusive. You can’t be selfless, without being selfish first. Because if you aren’t, then you have nothing to give. If I’m totally selfless, and I have no money. I have no time. I have literally nothing. That means I have nothing to give. How can I continue to be selfless until I’m selfish and I get more so I can give more. So selfish isn’t bad, be selfish.

And Mama, if there is one group of people in this world that need to be a little more selfish, it is Mamas. So much of your time so much of your day is spent thinking about other people and other things. And you need to make time for yourself and what makes you happy so that you can give to all those other people. And that’s where Selfish Mamas Club comes in. Check it out. Allyoumama.com/selfishmamasclub. It starts on August 26. And we can’t wait to see you there. Have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

Rather listen than read? Listen to the podcast here:

Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett helps mamas figure their sh*t out so they can create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt.

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