Hey, Mama. This is Mama’s Daily Dose. I’m Meghan Q Barrett of allyou mama.com. Happy Fourth birthday to my oldest son, Anderson. And he has inspired Mama’s Daily Dose for the day, which is a quote by Dr. Matthew McKay, from his book, Self-Esteem, “Studies of young children show clearly that parents style of child rearing during the first three to four years, determine the amount of self esteem a child starts with.” Well, let’s get moving, before we get interrupted
This quote brings up a couple different feelings. The first one is, Oh my gosh, have I totally ruined my child, right? It says, in the first three to four years, essentially, my parenting style will determine my child’s self esteem that they start with. Today, my child turns four, did I mess this up already? And on top of that, our belief system, like our subconscious beliefs are instilled within us by the time that we’re seven or eight. So now he’s already halfway there, or more than halfway. So have I ruined that too?
And the good news is, going back to Monday, I’m out here trying my best with the knowledge and experience that I have. And I am doing my absolute best to raise the best well adjusted kids that I can, and I’m not going to do it perfectly, and they’re going to grow up and want to change things. And that is totally fine. But the thing I want to focus on is what I am instilling in them right now. And the language that I use with them, the beliefs that I am trying to instill in them and what I am showing them too, because I think as parents, we all know, we can say whatever we want to say. But what they’re going to do is really what we do. And so if you have older children, don’t worry, it’s not over, you haven’t ruined everything, you know, just keep doing the best that you can. And just because they’re over three or four, seven or eight, doesn’t mean that you can’t change and that they aren’t going to continue to grow. And if you have younger children, it’s just kind of keeping that in mind that they are so impressionable. At this age that they do learn so young, do continue to affect them later on in life. So it is a bit of a double edge sword here, as many things with parenting are. But just know that even if you did make mistakes in the past, and you are going to make mistakes in the future too, that you’re trying your best. And that’s all that we can do. And continue to raise awesome children like you are because you are doing an amazing job.
Hey, did you get the TDQ today? If you didn’t make sure you go to allyoumama.com and sign up. It goes a little more into depth about the quote today, as well as some things to think about and do because it can be overwhelming the responsibility that we have as parents, I know you’re trying your best. And let’s continue to grow and keep trying our best and have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.
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Meghan Q Barrett helps mamas figure their sh*t out so they can create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt.
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