13 – No One Has Ever Calmed Down by Being Told to “Calm Down”

Hey, Mama. This is Mama’s daily dose. I’m Meghan Q Barrett of allyoumama.com.

Mama’s Daily Dose is… “No one has ever calmed down by being told to ‘calm down.’ ” Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

Before I even relate this to children, if you’ve ever been told to calm down, you know that that is the last thing that is actually going to calm you down. I don’t know about you, but if I’m super worked up about something, and someone’s like, “Hey, calm down, it’s not that big of a deal.” That just riles me up even more. 

It’s like, you don’t know me. You don’t know why I’m upset. You don’t know why I’m feeling this. That person doesn’t know what you’re feeling. And maybe you are justified feeling that way. Maybe you aren’t. But they’re your feelings. 

Now let’s take it to the tiny humans. So kids can’t even label a lot of their feelings. They don’t really know…they can’t control them, they’re still learning them. So, when they’re super upset about something, and someone comes in, and it’s just like, “calm down, it’s really not that big of a deal.” If adults react the way that we do to somebody saying that and we can control our emotions (to some degree) think about how it’s going to affect a child. And really by telling someone to calm down, you’re just totally invalidating their feelings.
 

Thank you for tuning in. And be sure to sign up for the newsletter at allyoumama.com it goes out tomorrow, Thursday morning, and have a great day for your mama girls because you deserve it.

Rather listen than read? Listen to the podcast here:

Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett helps mamas figure their sh*t out so they can create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt.

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